When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ‘til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you’d expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would’ve been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say “this guy”, because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.
No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he’s at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn’t give a shit. Doesn’t give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.
Pope’s child porn 'normal' claim sparks outrage among victims
In his traditional Christmas address yesterday to cardinals and officials working in Rome, Pope Benedict XVI also claimed that child pornography was increasingly considered “normal” by society.
“In the 1970s, paedophilia was theorised as something fully in conformity with man and even with children,” the Pope said.
“It was maintained — even within the realm of Catholic theology — that there is no such thing as evil in itself or good in itself. There is only a ‘better than’ and a ‘worse than’. Nothing is good or bad in itself.”
The Pope said abuse revelations in 2010 reached “an unimaginable dimension” which brought “humiliation” on the Church.
Asking how abuse exploded within the Church, the Pontiff called on senior clerics “to repair as much as possible the injustices that occurred” and to help victims heal through a better presentation of the Christian message.
“We cannot remain silent about the context of these times in which these events have come to light,” he said, citing the growth of child pornography “that seems in some way to be considered more and more normal by society” he said.
Well, this is ridiculous.
Atheist Wins Right to Wear "Religious Pasta Strainer" in ID Photo
Austrian atheist Niko Alm supports the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a joke religion conjured up by atheists who say their make-believe stories are no better or worse than any traditional church’s. In 2008, to make a point about his faith’s sanctity compared to others, Alm asked to wear a pasta strainer on his head for his driver’s license photo. Austrian citizens are only allowed to wear headgear in state IDs for religious purposes, so Alm, a Spaghetti Monster “pastafarian,” argued that a colander is his “religious headgear.”
This week, after avoiding Alm for three years and even making him submit to a psychiatric examination, the Austrian government caved. Alm now has a valid Austrian drivers license, complete with colander.
Score one for the freethinkers. Now who will be the first to try this on in America?
Smart or stupid? I can’t make up my mind yet.
(Source: sisimonka)
Why can't I own a Canadian?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
Why can’t I own Canadians?
Why can’t I own Canadians?
WHY CAN’T I OWN CANADIANS?
God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule.
“I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so you’d get it straight, because I thought it was pretty important,” said God, called Yahweh and Allah respectively in the Judaic and Muslim traditions. “I guess I figured I’d left no real room for confusion after putting it in a four-word sentence with one-syllable words, on the tablets I gave to Moses. How much more clear can I get?”
“But somehow, it all gets twisted around and, next thing you know, somebody’s spouting off some nonsense about, ‘God says I have to kill this guy, God wants me to kill that guy, it’s God’s will,’” God continued. “It’s not God’s will, all right? News flash: ‘God’s will’ equals ‘Don’t murder people.’”
Worse yet, many of the worst violators claim that their actions are justified by passages in the Bible, Torah, and Qur’an.
“To be honest, there’s some contradictory stuff in there, okay?” God said. “So I can see how it could be pretty misleading. I admit it—My bad. I did My best to inspire them, but a lot of imperfect human agents have misinterpreted My message over the millennia. Frankly, much of the material that got in there is dogmatic, doctrinal bullshit. I turn My head for a second and, suddenly, all this stuff about homosexuality gets into Leviticus, and everybody thinks it’s God’s will to kill gays. It absolutely drives Me up the wall.”
I am not religious, but this is relevant as fuck. God bless the Onion.
“So are you religious?” said the man in the funky, multi-coloured hat.
“No,” said I.
“Oh, so you are an atheist.” He smiled.
“I suppose.”
“You suppose?”
“I suppose.”
“You don’t know for sure?”
“Do you mean do I know of the existence of God for sure? No I don’t.”
“Do you know he doesn’t exist?”
“No.”
“So then you are agnostic.”
“I suppose.”
“Well which is it?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Well your view of life depends on the your idea of God.”
“It does not.”
“What? Yes it does. If you believe in God, you will follow his rules for a reward of heavenly pleasure. If not, then you will fuck it all.”
“But morality does not equal God.”
“What?”
“How I live my life is up to me, and my own justifications, not a God.”
“But what if at the end of your life God sends you to eternal damnation because you didn’t live by his rules?”
“Then I will be eternally damned.”
“But wouldn’t it be better to be safe in following God’s rules in case he does exist so you’re not eternally damned.”
“No. I will follow my own rules. As logically and reasonably as I set them for myself. If some of them coincide with God’s rules, okay. If not, so be it.”
Then he scratched his head in annoyance, opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again and walked away in frustration.
Oh well…
Because I cannot conceive of something un-humanly which is beyond my humanly conception.
Perhaps that has made me a bitter human being.
But I like bitter - bitter means I’m free-thinking, bitter means I see the bad as well as the good and can avoid it or learn from it. Bitter means I have to make this life heaven for myself, or I won’t experience it. Bitter means I can work towards a huge, shiny goal that I might never achieve, but at least I’ll go somewhere.
</rant>
"It is not the business of government to make men virtuous or religious, or to preserve the fool from the consequences of his own folly. Government should be repressive no further than is necessary to secure liberty by protecting the equal rights of each from aggression on the part of others, and the moment governmental prohibitions extend beyond this line they are in danger of defeating the very ends they are intended to serve."
Henry George
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